Tuesday, February 9, 2010

get cape. wear cape. fly.

In 9 hours Nicole and I will be on our way to Kenya. I'm feeling so many things tonight...just overcome with emotion and not sure how to sort it all out. I've been planning for this trip for so long, specifically getting things in order for weeks. The anticipation and preparation process is wearing me out. It seems like it has been dragging on and at this point, I'm so ready to just get on with it. I spoke with Diane, the founder of the missions organization and leader of our trip, just a few moments ago. She and her husband have gone ahead of us to prepare the way. She told me tonight that my friend Julias, with whom I've had lots of contact with since my last visit, is flipping out waiting for me to get there. I think I may get to meet his wife and children, and I'm beside myself with joy over this. Then, there are the parts of me that, shockingly, do not want to go. It's not that I don't want to accept this adventure that God has given to me. It's that I don't want to leave my Grandparents. Or Sawyer and Lily Scout. I am having such dramatic reactions to saying so-long to them. I just am very heartbroken over leaving these people. And of course, David. He has worked almost 30 days straight. Today was the first day he saw the sunset from our house in close to two months. I miss him so much already, without the trip even being factored in. I pray that God will strengthen my heart and bring me safely home to the ones I love so much. I'm excited and nervous about the time in Nakuru. Last time, I went so blindly and giddily into the trip, and this time, I know what heartache awaits. I know the kind of pain I'm going to see, and that's crazy to try and prepare for. Of course, I also know the joy and the hope that I'll see, so I'm praying that God will help me focus on the positive and not anticipate unnecessary troubles.  So here I go. So thankful to have Nicole this time. Ready to get going, tired of waiting and getting ready. Excited and nervous to see what God has up His sleeve. A touch of the bittersweet as I leave my family. Ready to get my cape. Put my cape on. Fly for Jesus.

1 comment:

  1. think i will just copy and paste this into my blog - b/c it is "ditto, ditto" all I was thinking and feeling.....


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