Wednesday, March 24, 2010

sister land...

Many thanks to Caroline Merrill, our Director of Worship, who helped me create this little video. I'll be making another, longer one for when Nicole and I do presentations at churches. Until then, I hope this speaks to your heart in some way...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

dear God...

...i am so thankful for your mercy and grace. it has washed over my spirit until i'm swimming in it. what goodness you are!

please help me to hold fast to the courage and truth that you've shone on me during this adventure. help me to not forget the peace and hope you've shown me in my beloved sister land, kenya. 

grant me the strength not to pick up what i've let go. i love resting in your vision for my life, even though i can't see the whole picture. help me to never leave that place. 

oh, i love how your love is changing me!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

*insert deep sigh here...

Another Kenyan love affair has come and gone. 

I've had a lot of thoughts that I've been trying to find time to blog. 
But now that I'm actually sitting here with a moment to write, I can't find anything to say. 

More often than not, my own words fail me. I have, however, been given the gift of a strong connection with the Psalms and with music. I think these are God's way of helping me say what I feel in my core. I can't really ever describe how a lyric, a verse from a Psalm, a single melody, can move me. I'll be having so many thoughts and emotions and can never sort them out. I turn to the Word, or I grab my iPod, and my Father gives me something that exactly says what my heart is crying out. 

So, I think I'll just roll with it. At least for now, and until I can find my own words I'll use what God is helping me out with. 

This first song is one that blows my mind. I didn't hear it until I was in Kenya this trip, but it takes almost verbatim some of my thoughts from my journal in 2008, after my first trip. ('My heart is the most broken it's ever can I go back to living the way I was? I can't un-see what's been seen. There is no going back.' -Tuesday, July 15th 2008) It describes so explicitly where my heart was and is and...well, enough of my ramblings, let's just have the song already...

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
I know what I know and I can't deny it

Something on the road
Cut me to the soul

Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of
And what I know of love

We've done what we've done and we can't erase it
We are what we are and it's more than enough
We have what we have but it's no substitution

Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what I'm made of
And what I know of love

Something on the road
Cut me to the soul

I say what I say with no hesitation
I have what I have and I'm giving it up
I do what I do with deep conviction

Something on the road, cut me to the soul

Your pain has changed me
Your dreams inspire
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what I am afraid of
Your courage asks me what I am made of
Your courage asks me what I am afraid of
And what I know of God,
And what I know of God.

Thanks so much for all your prayers and love during this latest adventure. In my opinion, when God calls you to do something, you don't really have an option. I mean, it's like I told David a while ago. I guess you could be a Jonah and say no, but seriously, who has time to get swallowed up by a big fish? And I'd rather not be vomited out onto a shadeless beach either. 

I think I'll just do what God asks me to, and avoid that whole scenario...doesn't mean it's easy peazy. That's what these songs and Psalms are about.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

get cape. wear cape. fly.

In 9 hours Nicole and I will be on our way to Kenya. I'm feeling so many things tonight...just overcome with emotion and not sure how to sort it all out. I've been planning for this trip for so long, specifically getting things in order for weeks. The anticipation and preparation process is wearing me out. It seems like it has been dragging on and at this point, I'm so ready to just get on with it. I spoke with Diane, the founder of the missions organization and leader of our trip, just a few moments ago. She and her husband have gone ahead of us to prepare the way. She told me tonight that my friend Julias, with whom I've had lots of contact with since my last visit, is flipping out waiting for me to get there. I think I may get to meet his wife and children, and I'm beside myself with joy over this. Then, there are the parts of me that, shockingly, do not want to go. It's not that I don't want to accept this adventure that God has given to me. It's that I don't want to leave my Grandparents. Or Sawyer and Lily Scout. I am having such dramatic reactions to saying so-long to them. I just am very heartbroken over leaving these people. And of course, David. He has worked almost 30 days straight. Today was the first day he saw the sunset from our house in close to two months. I miss him so much already, without the trip even being factored in. I pray that God will strengthen my heart and bring me safely home to the ones I love so much. I'm excited and nervous about the time in Nakuru. Last time, I went so blindly and giddily into the trip, and this time, I know what heartache awaits. I know the kind of pain I'm going to see, and that's crazy to try and prepare for. Of course, I also know the joy and the hope that I'll see, so I'm praying that God will help me focus on the positive and not anticipate unnecessary troubles.  So here I go. So thankful to have Nicole this time. Ready to get going, tired of waiting and getting ready. Excited and nervous to see what God has up His sleeve. A touch of the bittersweet as I leave my family. Ready to get my cape. Put my cape on. Fly for Jesus.

Monday, February 1, 2010

'What if success is just getting the laundry into the dryer before the mildew sets in?'

Our friend Lorrie gave me a little sign that says that.
Especially when we lived @ 45 Boulder, that was a major issue.
See, the machines were in the basement: out of sight, out of mind.
Now, thanks to my Dad and Mom and their cheery washer/dryer Christmas gift, we were motivated to re-do the laundry room. 
Let me rephrase.
I was motivated. 
Poor David is about re-dooed out. 
Last week, David went to school down east (Way to go Hubs! Super proud!).
Perfect time to call up my uber talented sister in law Sarah for a little assistance.
She came through, like a charm.
We started around 8pm Monday night. 
We wrapped up around 1:30am. 
David was thrilled. 
 Not sure what thrilled him more: that the room looks incredible or that he didn't have to be involved!!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Annual Catchphrase Extravaganza

aka: New Years Eve

(david had a little too much sparkling apple cider!)

in some 36odd hours, we had 3 davids, 2 ashleys, 1 lauren, 1 leah and 1 walt...

Ashley, or as we lovingly refer to each other, Pickle, and her David spent the night over Christmas. It was incredible to have the two Pickles together again, even if only for a few hours!!

Some friends from Asbury stop by each Christmas when they are traveling thru NC to visit families. This year, they got to actually spend the night (we normally just stop for coffee), and it's funny to me that I only took pics of their sweet baby girl, Morgan! Well, there's one pic of Ashley, but poor DP, no pics of you, man!

Lauren and Shayne treated us to Biltmore in Candle light for Christmas! It was super special and we loved having this time together.

*merry chrismtas*

Christmas x6
Christmas Eve with Momo

A Mehaffey Christmas

A McConnell Christmas
A Caudill Clan Christmas

A Belue Christmas