:drive by reflections:

It's been quite a while since I posted any of my drive by thoughts. When we first came to little 25, we were driving home one evening and David said 'Look at the deer!'. Well, being a hunter, he has an eye for a deer standing in a forest 4 thousand miles away...that may be a little bit of an exaggeration, but the point is that he can spot a deer or other wildlife when no one else can. And of course, by no one else, I mean me.

At any rate, I couldn't see the darn things, and he got all frustrated shouting 'Right there! Right there!'. I'm thinking, I don't know what 'right there' means, for Pete's sake! So, he turned around and drove me past them and this time I was finally able to spot them...after he stopped the truck in the middle of a curve on Rush Fork mountain. (Not the safest move, Mehaff.) Of course, they were so beautiful it took my breath away. It's not that I haven't seen deer or other animals up close in the wild, it just takes my breath away every time is all.

Since our little sighting that first night, I look in those 3 fields on the side of Rush Fork every single time I drive past, no matter what direction I'm going. And guess what I never see? Deer. And guess who calls me every morning after we've both made it to work and says 'Whew. Didja see all the deer this morning? There were tons!'.

So I started to get frustrated. See, the way I look at it, when I see a deer, or really any creature for that matter, doing something fantastic when I'm just cruising down the road, I take it as a gift. I'll go so far as to say I take it as a kiss from my Creator. That concept would have used to flip me out, thinking of God sending us kisses, until I read the book 'Captivating', by John and Stasi Eldridge. You'll have to read it to get what I'm talking about, but needless to say, it changed forever how I look at my relationship with Jesus.

So all this time, I keep thinking, 'Why aren't you sending me kisses?!?! I want to see some deer!'. Once when I was traveling thru Kentucky with a friend I looked to my right and saw 2 deer leaping like they had trampolines on their feet across this hill, and I burst out with this ginormous grin and kept it to myself.

*Pause to tell Toots McGee that she may NOT in fact try to eat Ruby's ear or my knee at this point in time...*

Continuing: Now, while I am driving, I see plenty of wild turkeys. I remember seeing them a lot as a kid on the ride to and from Fines Creek, but never this many. I see dozens and dozens, almost every morning. A few days ago I was driving in to work and I was passing by the cross on the side of the road that celebrates the life of David Sherrill, and all the turkeys flew across the road, right in front of me. I had to slam on the brakes because the sheer size of their big fat bodies and the volume of them was just excessive and very near busted my windshield. I keep trying to think of what significance that had, flying right over David's wooden cross, but I haven't quite wrapped my brain around that one yet.

Yet it seems that almost every time I ride with Hubs, he points out the deer to me. I see them so clearly when I'm riding shotgun. I can't ever understand why I can't find them when I'm on my own...then, Sunday morning, driving into church, right at the bottom of Rush Fork mtn, my wilderness explorer of a husband said (of course) 'Look! Look! Lookit those cyotes runnin across that hillside!!'. I looked to the right and sure enough, there they were. It was incredible. The hill was still partially snow-covered, and the trees bordered it as if it was some impressionistic painting. They ran around and around and chased each other and zigged and zagged and we stopped the car to watch. The sun was still in it's freshly risen state and the sky was a piercing blue and it suddenly hit me:
 
Every time I see the deer, I'm riding shotgun. Every single time. Any time I've seen a deer, even a few times a bear or a bear cub, I've been in the passenger seat. It makes me contemplate the fact that I try so hard to control my life and still enjoy it. Well, I can't enjoy all the blessings and 'kisses' that God gives me if I'm stressing out, trying to drive, avoid txting and driving, scramble around slooooow pokes, watching the clock and fretting about where I should have been 5 minutes ago. Because that's what happens if I try to drive and make God ride shotgun. I end up frustrated, late, missing all the kisses, and half the time, lost all together.

It's only when I'm riding in the passenger seat, in charge of only the radio and my thoughts, that I can gaze out the windows and see and be shown the amazingness of the creation around me. And it's only when I'm letting God be God, letting Him drive my life, direct me, mold me, take me where He wants me to go (even though it drives me insane that He won't let me look at the directions!), that I enjoy the life I'm living and feel the peace and serenity of only having to go where He takes me. I don't have to worry about if I'm lost, or if I'm missing something amazing, whizzing by His special kisses that He has just for me. All I have to do is just climb into the passenger seat, crank up the soundtrack to my life, and enjoy the ride.

And revel in all those kisses.